The Things You Do When You Get Fired

Happy Wednesday, readers! I would apologize for not writing this past weekend, but if you read my last post, you undoubtedly understand that things have been more than a little thrown off for me here. If you haven’t read my previous post, you might want to now, because this one today is what I consider its sister post. Getting fired from your full-time job is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone – no matter how cushy your severance package is – and I’d like to share with you now what I’ve been doing to fill my time this week.

You will wake up after your husband has already left for work and it will confuse the hell out of you.
Monday morning, our alarm went off when it always does. We both woke up and my husband snoozed it, like he always does. Typically, I stay awake from that first alarm, and take those eight minutes to scroll through Twitter and Instagram. That… didn’t happen on Monday. I fell back dead asleep, my husband just… got up when he was supposed to, and he left for work. I woke up about an hour later, to an empty house, and entered immediately into an unexpected existential crisis. I’ve never just been home from work, and not been sick. I took my time getting out of bed, eventually making a bagel (oh, the luxury – I never had time to use the toaster on a work day!), grabbing coffee… and settling in on the couch. What a life.

You will shift two pieces of furniture around in your office and call that “doing something productive.”
In my defense, we recently added a stupidly-massive arm chair to my office, and while it’s a chair I always wanted, it has thrown off the poster-laden mess that is my own personal brand of feng shui. Unfortunately, that mental tic won’t let up easily, so I’ve jumped up from the couch countless times in the past few days, moved something a few inches in one direction… only to move it back later. I did swap the places two shelves were in, and it made more room clear on the walls, so, like… victory? Productivity? Let me have this, y’all.

You’ll continue to apply for jobs, but you won’t have that “I’m a hot commodity!” attitude anymore.
I don’t even know what happened (yes I do), but my drive is all but gone. I’m still taking about an hour every morning to throw my resume at every place I can think of, sending emails like a madwoman, but… my enthusiasm is wearing off. I’m still confident something great will come my way, and I’m still very much okay with all of this – I know that something is going to work out, and that my previous retail position wasn’t my dream job – it was definitely time for a change – but, like, this process? It sucks. I forgot how much it sucks. Positive wishes and job recommendations are absolutely accepted, friends.

Making a lunch that isn’t just a sad desk lunch will have you convinced you are the next Martha Stewart.
I fried two eggs yesterday, and put them on toast with sriracha and cheese, and promptly texted my husband to share my culinary victory. A freaking fried egg sandwich. Do I really need to say more here?

Your hand will actually physically ache because of how long you’ll mindlessly scroll on your phone.
iPhone-pinky is a VERY REAL CONDITION that I have fallen victim to. My fingers have always sort of flared out when I type on a computer (much to my high school keyboarding teacher’s dismay), but I’m noticing as I type this that my pinkies are just, all over the damn place. I spent a solid hour and a half glued to my phone Monday morning, and that hasn’t let up that much. Granted, my being fired also coincided with my making several friends in U2’s fan community, so there’s been a lot more Twitter and WhatsApp in my life than there was even just last week, but… damn, guys. iPhone-pinky. Millennials may be killing every other industry, but just you wait for the wonders we’ll do for arthritis medicine in 40 years.

After spending a few hours on your couch, you’ll get up, pace around the house, find nothing to do… and return to the couch.
I think I did this five times, yesterday alone.

You’ll get an email setting up a meeting regarding the one potential job you are REALLY excited about, and spend the morning freaking out about said meeting.
And then you’ll realize that you’re going to repeat this exact cycle every time anything regarding your next job comes up. Like I said, my confidence hasn’t worn off yet, but my enthusiasm has. So, it’s a little weird to realize that those frantic emails you sent out last week are actually reaching the people they need to reach.

Time will pass weirdly.
8am to 9am will go by SO FAST you won’t realize what happened – I watched a video from my favorite Disney vloggers this morning, and then it was 9am, and I realized that if I didn’t get out of bed soon, I would feel like I wasted the entire day (is that something that happens for you? I don’t sleep past 7am often, so when I’m still in bed any time after 9 or so, I feel like my day is lost). And THEN, it’ll be 1pm FOREVER. Did you know that there is NOTHING on TV at 1pm? You’ll flip through your entire channel guide for an hour, glance at the clock, and it’ll be 1:14. Then you’ll pick up your phone and settle in with Candy Crush… and it’ll immediately be 4:30 and your husband is on his way home from work.

Thankfully, today is my last low-key day of this weird unemployment time. Tomorrow, I’m going to try a new recipe for dinner that’ll take up much of my afternoon, then I am going to see Bernadette Peters perform at the college in my neighborhood! Friday, I’m heading out of town with my husband and brother-in-law. Next week may start off quietly, but then our anniversary is somehow already the following weekend, so, like… things are happening.

When we get back from our vacation, I’ll hopefully have at least some temporary work lined up. And I’ll go from there. I recognize now that I had fallen into the dangerous trap that is complacency at the bookstore, so I’m also realizing that this, all? This new routine that is hardly a routine? This is the new normal that I needed, desperately. I feel like I’ve gotten more done, in doing effectively nothing, these past few days, than I did the entire last year at the bookstore, and if that doesn’t say something, I don’t know what does.

I hope you’re having a good week, guys. As a personal request – if you have any topics you’d like to see me delve into here, please let me know! I’m enjoying writing about my career journey, but I also want to make this blog into more of a community, so some guidance is welcome. Thanks for reading!

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